What We Think We Know – The Grace of Not Knowing

What do we really know?

If you are like me you have spent years processing your childhood through one method or another. We Baby Boomers are the psychological/spiritual “processors”. We’ve developed and used all sorts of techniques for exploring our inner selves. They have all had their usefulness, I don’t intend any criticism of them. I’ve been one of the biggest “process junkies” of them all.

But what do we really know? What does the past, or our selective memory of our past, have to do with the truth of this moment now? I learned a powerful lesson about this during a weekend retreat I attended recently.

I spent my 20’s doing Primal Therapy focused on my past, my thirties and forties engaging all sorts of meditation practices and “fifth dimensional” technologies, trying to assist in the evolution of the planet, focused on creating a new future for humanity. Then there was also the more personal work with the law of attraction and creating my personal future as I wanted it.

And then in my early fifties I learned about being present in the moment, the power of now. I learned lots of theories of “how things are;” and was constantly redefining my reality. But what did I really know? Theories, concepts, even powerful experiences of other dimensional phenomenon – what did they teach me about truth, about love?

I’ve experienced a great deal in the last few years. I fell in love with a spiritual teacher (a phenomena I didn’t even know existed before it happened to me) and through that relationship I have experienced truth. I have experienced love. I’ve experience who I truly am. But what do I really know?

Until a few days ago, I thought I knew how a pivotal experience in my childhood had effected me, what it meant in terms of my experience of who I was, what it meant in terms of my relationship with my father. I thought I knew what the limits of that relationship were, I thought I had accepted what could never be. I thought I knew what could and couldn’t be.

Then in a moment of grace, with this beloved teacher, all that changed. A door opened and I allowed the possibility for something I had assumed was not possible, for something to be different from the way I had always held it in my mind. And the result has been that a connection, an exquisite expression of love, deeper than anything that has ever been before, has been exchanged between my father and me. And the past and it’s “traumas” have fallen away. All that I thought I knew, and that had defined me, shifted, and there is only love.

I’m deliberately being a bit vague, not wanting to make a private moment between my father and me something public. But I hope you can feel the energy of what I am offering. What we think we know is not always true. And when you can allow a moment of not knowing, truth can be revealed.

I offer you this opportunity I had. Let yourself not know how things are for just a moment. Open your mind and heart to a door you thought was closed, for just a moment. See if it is really closed. Don’t know. Allow yourself to express the depth of who you are and see what the response is. Maybe, you’ll find that what you thought you knew is true. But if you are lucky, maybe, like me, you’ll find that what you thought was the truth never really existed outside your mind. And finally, there is nothing real but love.


I look forward to your thoughts and comments!

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  1. Thanks for sharing that. This is something that I have been working on lately too. I recently started reading Wayne Dyer’s Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life, basically his take on the Tao Te Ching, and attended Mike Dooley’s Playing the Matrix seminar last weekend. They both point out that we create our lives each moment of each day. When we decide that we don’t really know then we open up all sorts of possibilities for what the next moment can be. A truly powerful way to live.

    • Yes, this “not knowing” is powerful stuff. Good to hear from you!

  2. Thanks for sharing about your experience and reflections on it. I cant say that I fully understand what you are saying suffice to say that experiencing a state or realm that is best described as “love” of a kind that is deep, pure and true is the most precious and trans formative I believe of any human experience. How, when and where individuals come into that experience varies greatly but I do believe it is universal and is an experience of the Divine within and without. It is this kind of experience that has changed my life and continues to do so. The biggest breakthrough for me came when I was 16 years old. I am 52 now. I think that whatever a person decides is “truth” has no real value unless it causes love to manifest and multiply in their lives. If a persons “truth” results in barriers/walls/dis functionality etc. (things that result when love does not flow) I would say to that person to rethink what is real and true. I really appreciate the content of your post. Keep bloggin’
    Paul S.


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